i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
