i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
