Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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