I love black thongs
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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