I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
