I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
