Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Its about making memories worth repressing
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
