I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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