if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
