My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
