Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She even gives head with a lisp.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
