I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
