You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
