all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
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