That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize