I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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