It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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