first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
