Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
