You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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