It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
