is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
