Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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