Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
