Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
