He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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