Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Did I show you my penis last night?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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