I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
