No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
