My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
