I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
