Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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