Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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