He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize