Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize