You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
