Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
