is your mom at the bar?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I want her autograph on my taint
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
