what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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