I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Boobs speak an international language.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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