i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize