I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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