I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I don't deserve a penis
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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