It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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