Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
