gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
