I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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