when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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