you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
