They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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