oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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