where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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