apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
