The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
