I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
