At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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