who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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