you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
