While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
