Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
