I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
