That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
There's even glitter on my cock...
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