I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
